Here’s my perspective on why it is hard to ask for help.
We need help from other people all the time.
But we often don’t ask for help.
I’ll tell you how to crush your unwillingness to ask.
Watch the video below or keep reading if you prefer text-based information.
Asking for help
Asking for help takes courage.
I totally know that.
A transformational life coach Kajal Pandey said:
“People are afraid to ask for help, especially men. If I ask for help that means I don’t know something or that something is wrong with me. I should be able to figure this out on my own, and asking for help makes me feel vulnerable.”
Asking for help: examples
I’ve recently had a problem with the Internet in my apartment.
I looked at all those WiFis available in our building and said to myself, “One of these guys is sure to let me use their WiFi!”
S0 I went knocking on doors.
Surprisingly, the very first person I asked helped me out.
Within 5 minutes of making the decision to ask for help, I had Internet access.
Was it hard for me to go ask?
Let’s look at the reasons that my mind was coming up with to stop me.
Reason #1: Overthinking how others might react
My neighbors might be unhappy about my using their WiFi because I might abuse it.
That’s totally counterproductive because you never know what’s on the other person’s mind.
I’ve retrained myself not to make assumptions about other people.
I did this by thinking of myself as a leader.
See, people are often confused about what to do right now.
When you ask them for help, you give them the answer, the certainty they crave.
They now know exactly what to do and don’t need to think about all those different options.
Reason #2: Fear of inconveniencing other people
What if my neighbors are busy?
That’s fear that I would cause them trouble by asking for help.
Which is another counterproductive thought.
See, people love to help.
It’s a basic human need.
As a life coach, I test people in this respect all the time.
I strike up conversations with strangers and ask for a favor.
And most are friendly and happy to stop whatever they are doing to help me.
And you know what’s even better?
Each time I ask, I feel a little boost to my self-esteem and happiness.
Reason #3: Fear of rejection
What if my neighbors say, “No, I won’t let you use my WiFi because I don’t like you”?
That’s one reason we hate rejection: it’s a sign that’s something is wrong with us.
Look, another person might not like something about me.
But seriously, why would I care?
It’s just a thought in their mind.
To be honest, I used to have this type of fear.
One thing that helped me was keeping a rejection journal.
Every time someone rejects me, I make an entry.
And I feel that with each entry, my ego dies a little bit.
Asking for help opens doors
I also learned from Guy Kawasaki that asking for help from other people is a good start of a relationship with them.
It sounds counterintuitive but it works!
An entrepreneur Chris Sacca said:
“The best managers in the world are people who are great at asking for help.”
Let’s go practice now!
Make a list of things to ask for help and start with the first one.
You’ll love it, I promise.
Break through your barriers
If you need help building confidence to ask for help, check out my life coaching services
Here’s a link for you to contact me.