“Why am I so fearful of the future?”
If you ask yourself that kind of question, I totally understand you.
I have a friend who suffers from it.
In this article, I explain why he is that way and what he can do to break out of his pattern.
Or watch a quick video to get the gist of this article:
Why am I so fearful of the future? Because I’m too logical.
One reason we are fearful of the future is we are too logical.
When I let my mind think about all that can go wrong, it goes: “Okay, you asked for it!”
When my friend was younger, he had an adventurous attitude:
“I’ll try different things and see what happens.”
But now that he’s in his early thirties, his default mode is analysis paralysis.
Reason 1: My friend is too analytical
One reason is that he is very smart.
Maybe even too smart.
He has an analytical mind and can’t stop analyzing things until he understands them perfectly.
For example, if he needs to buy milk, he might do heavy planning:
- What’s the best time for me to go?
- Should I wait until I have more errands to run?
- Should I take a shower before or after that?
And he might get overwhelmed to the point that he says, “I’ll just stay at home.”
Does he overdo it?
Reason 2: My friend trained his mind to see risk as a bad thing
Another reason is that he plays online poker professionally.
When he plays, he has to think about everything that can go wrong so that he doesn’t lose money.
He trained his mind to be in this constant mode of avoiding potential problems.
And his mind caught on to this happily because looking out for danger is what it does.
What happened to him as a result
Today, my friend is afraid of the future and doesn’t do much with his life.
He keeps looking for reasons not to do things.
And he finds them.
- He stopped working out because he might get injured.
- He leaves home rarely because he wants to batch his errands for maximum efficiency.
- He sold his car because it’s expensive to drive and now has even fewer reasons to go outside.
- And he’s scared of the future since he knows playing poker is unsustainable and he needs to do something else. But he can’t make up his mind because all professions have disadvantages!
Love the risk because it makes us excited
To stop being scared of the future, he needs to stop focusing on disadvantages.
Disadvantages (or risks) will always be there.
But we make progress only if we go on despite them.
Poker is actually a very good example.
As a professional player, my friend is wired to minimize risks.
But when I play, I am an occasional player and I’m happy to take risks and enjoy them.
See, as humans, we have two contradicting needs.
One is for certainty.
We want to be sure that we will stay comfortable.
That’s why we are afraid of the future: we fear that changes might take away our comfort.
But we also have the opposite need for uncertainty.
We enjoy a little bit of fear, newness, and risk every now and then.
Like horror movies.
Taking risks makes us feel excited.
Actionable tip to stop being fearful of the future
Take one fear you have about the future.
And be that occasional poker player.
Do the thing despite the risks or disadvantages.
And feel the excitement!
Break through your barriers
If you need help with your fears about the future, check out my life coaching services.
This is how you can contact me: click this link.