Welcome to this next lesson. I honor you for your commitment.
I worked with one of my clients to carve out a new identity for himself.
He wrote down all the new empowering beliefs about himself.
Such as: Porn is a free dopamine fix that is anything but free.
This was a new vision of himself, and he wanted to stay consistent with it.
So he programmed in that new identity with visualization and affirmation.
By doing it every day without fail, he was able to stop watching porn and make it to 80+ days of No PMO.
What are your empowering beliefs about conquering porn?
What’s your most single motivating factor?
Let’s use them, starting with a mission statement.
It’s a statement of what you are at your core and why you’re stopping PMO.
It will help you change your beliefs about yourself.
Now you believe that you’re a person who needs porn to survive.
You use it as a coping mechanism for unhappiness, boredom, or loneliness.
But this is a belief that is not serving you at all. In fact, it’s holding you back.
A mission statement rewires your brain to install a new belief that propels you forward instead.
It has two parts to it.
The first is your Big Why, your single most motivating factor.
The second is saying that you’re porn-free or masturbation-free.
Here are good examples:
I will not go back to PMO because I love my mental clarity, increased energy, and joy for life.
In order to get the hottest women, maintain my energy, and be kind to my body, I am choosing to not jerk off.
I am free from jerking off because I want more respect, mental clarity, and success in life.
Make sure that it’s positive and present tense like it’s already happening.
Keep saying it to yourself throughout the day.
Set up reminders on your phone or computer that will tell you to state it.
Plus, keep it in front of you all the time.
Print it out and put it on your computer.
Put it in your car.
Your bathroom.
Your kitchen.
The more places you put it in, the faster your porn reboot is.
To complement the mission statement, you need to create several affirmations.
These are powerful statements that say who you are as a result of the recovery.
Examples:
- I am porn-free and I rechannel conserved time and energy into serving my clients better
- I am an engaged father and husband, thanks to being porn-free
- I focus on contribution instead of selfish thoughts of self-pleasure
By affirming them, you give yourself yet another avenue to reinforce your new identity.
Repeat your affirmations first thing in the morning and at bedtime.
Take each affirmation and read it out loud at least for a minute, ideally in front of a mirror.
Be energetic and smiling because affirming with positive emotions programs our mind even faster.
For example, for me, the best time to do it is in a sauna because I feel ecstatic there.
Whatever I say to myself in that peak state gets associated with the pleasure that I feel.
And this creates a stronger neuro-association in my mind.
Another tool that you’ll use to build the new identity is visualization.
The best time to do it is with affirmations in the morning and at bedtime.
In your mind’s eye, see yourself as porn-free and enjoying the benefits.
- Feeling in control of your life
- Honoring integrity rather than good moods
- A great intimate relationship
- Having more time and energy for hobbies and work
Mental diet
Last but not least, you need to go on a mental diet.
Keep reading or watching NoFap materials to reinforce your new beliefs.
YouTube videos. Use the hashtag “NoFap” or “pornfree” or “no pmo”
Reddit: pornfree and NoFap
Blogs. https://romanmironov.com
This diet reminds you why this is important to you.
Well done! I will see you in the next lesson.