The question “Is NoFap legit?” makes me uncomfortable.
I know I should’ve asked it long ago—when I was a teenager.
But I asked it only when I was 31.
As a result, I lost too much time and effort on porn addiction.
Here’s my sad story so that you don’t make the same mistakes.
And in the end, I’ll share the crucial lessons learned.
- Companion video
- Developing porn addiction
- Missing out on dating opportunities
- Consequence 1: Lost opportunity
- Consequence 2: Destroying my marriage due to no experience with women
- Finding out NoFap is legit and learning women in my thirties
- Why is NoFap legit?
- Bonus: 6 NoFap Myths
- Get help with NoFap. You’re not alone in this battle
Check out the companion video if you don’t want to read:
Developing porn addiction
I started fapping even before I was a teenager.
It began as a pretty much unconscious habit.
I’d feel bored and masturbate because I knew it’d make me feel good.
But then I discovered porn.
My friend found his parents’ “secret” videotape.
Watching it was exciting and that was the beginning of my addiction.
I remember how one day, I wanted to watch porn badly.
So I went around the apartment looking for my parents’ videotape.
That was crazy because I didn’t know if there was a videotape.
That’s how addicted I became.
Little did I know, PMO (Porn, Masturbation, Orgasm) was going to have a terrible impact on my life.
Missing out on dating opportunities
I didn’t have a girlfriend until 21.
I developed crushes just as everyone else but kept them to myself.
The reason was my shyness around girls.
Instead of approaching them, I masturbated to porn.
And then I felt shame and became even shyer.
This vicious cycle left me with a major problem:
I didn’t know anything about women.
As a result, I approached girls rarely and awkwardly.
And I paid for this lack of experience dearly.
Consequence 1: Lost opportunity
I didn’t have a girlfriend until 21.
If I had realized NoFap was legit, I’d have started dating at 16.
And I’d have had 5 more years of dating.
It saddens me to think about it now, especially because I craved dating all that time.
I just didn’t know how.
Consequence 2: Destroying my marriage due to no experience with women
At 21, I got lucky and met a great girl who would later become my wife.
Our first year was fantastic.
But then our relationship kept getting worse.
Because of my lack of experience, I didn’t know how to make it work in the long term.
I didn’t know any better than to treat my wife as if she were a man.
Can you believe it?
As a result, we fought a lot and resented each other.
No wonder we divorced after 11 years together.
Finding out NoFap is legit and learning women in my thirties
At that time, I tried NoFap and realized it was legit.
Even though I suffered from depression while on NoFap at first, I got better eventually.
And it gave me the motivation to find a girl.
Finally, I started dating women and learning about them—15 years after I should’ve started to do that.
That’s quite late but not too late.
It would’ve been too late if I had still kept masturbating to porn.
That’s why I’m so happy about going NoFap.
Why is NoFap legit?
That said, here’s why I’m a great believer in NoFap.
I just wish someone had given me this NoFap motivation years ago.
Lesson 1: PMO robs you of dating experiences.
Let’s say, you develop a crush.
Normally, you should approach the girl and ask her out.
But with porn addiction and shyness, you go to porn as a safe alternative.
This happens again and again until you’re 30 or 40 and it’s too late.
You lost all those golden years when you should’ve dated women:
- You missed a lot of happy moments.
- You don’t know women, which makes it difficult to be in a relationship.
Lesson 2: PMO robs you of a great relationship.
Porn addiction kills your relationship slowly:
- You have to hide and feel shame. As a result, you don’t love her as much as you could—a huge part of your energy goes into PMO.
- She is likely to have suspicions about it, which makes her anxious.
- Sooner or later, she’ll learn about your addiction and this will break her heart.
That’s why NoFap transformation is key to building an intimate relationship.
When my wife divorced me in 2014, I wanted to get a new girlfriend badly. But I had failed again and again until I realized that porn was holding me back.
I quit porn. In a year, my confidence shot through the roof. I also became more attractive, thanks to becoming more extroverted.
But don’t believe me just yet. Someone I know is right now in the process of quitting watching porn because his wedding is coming. He is so worried that this addiction will affect his relationship. He wanted to know how long a NoFap transformation takes. Now that he knows, he has the confidence he will beat his addiction.
But wait, there’s an even more inspiring story. Another person I know recently got married. It’s kind of an arranged marriage, and he isn’t sexual with his wife yet. But he needs a NoFap transformation because what he’s doing is cheating. He wants to strengthen the relationship instead of murdering it.
Lesson 3: PMO takes energy away from important things in life.
Relationships aside, PMO is detrimental to other important areas of your life.
Say, you want to quit your job and start your own business.
But every time you get down to it, you feel uncertain and uncomfortable.
And you use PMO to escape that unpleasant feeling rather than persevere.
Lesson 4: PMO gives you a false sense of accomplishment.
For example, you know regular exercise is good for you.
After exercise, you feel a sense of accomplishment.
Now let’s say you’re at home and don’t want to hit the gym today.
You know you should but you go to masturbation instead.
A surge of dopamine from PMO makes you feel good.
It creates a false sense of accomplishment.
But in reality, you’ve robbed yourself of real fulfillment.
Lesson 5: PMO robs you of life itself.
Suppose, you spend about 30 minutes a day on masturbation.
365 days × 0.5 hour = 182.5 hours per year
And let’s say your average time awake each day is 16 hours.
182.5 / 16 = 11.4 days
That’s more than 11 days wasted on masturbation each year.
To me, that’s too much of life to give away.
Lesson 6: PMO kills confidence
Before NoFap, I struggled with socializing. I was super uncomfortable around girls. In fact, until 32 years old, I approached a total of ten girls.
I was too self-conscious and lacked confidence. I was scared of my parents judging me for talking to girls (crazy, I know).
I literally ran away fro a girl who liked me once. And then I used fapping as my consolation.
But after NoFap, I could no longer do PMO in place of a normal intimate relationship. “No PMO” pushed me to get a girlfriend.
I had to put myself out there and approach girls. I sucked at first and was scared of rejection.
But with practice, I got more comfortable and confident. And I was able to create a few amazing relationships. One of them was mind-blowing because I had liked a girl for many years but never approached her because of my lack of confidence.
Bonus: 6 NoFap Myths
I’ve been on NoFap for 8 years. But it didn’t make me a millionaire.
It didn’t make me fly. Although, I do levitate here and there a little bit.
It didn’t bring me my second family. Although I am getting there hopefully.
Instead, I got my life together. And I appreciate it. And I think this is the main NoFap benefit.
This video is for you if you know you have all this potential. You can be so much more. But you keep wasting time on fapping.
You want success and want to stop fapping. But you are still skeptical about NoFap benefits or superpowers.
Then you’ll love this video. I will show you the myths and how to use NoFap for real success rather than for voodoo magic.
Myth #1: You will get superpowers on NoFap.
I didn’t get any superpowers. For me, it was a personal-growth journey, from Level 1 to Level 5.
My main result was how I felt about myself. Getting my life together. Building a foundation for Levels 6 to 30.
Think Superman vs Batman. Superman does voodoo magic. Batman did the hard thing to develop himself to be a fighter and inventor.
Myth #2: Women are magically attracted to you.
No, NoFap didn’t land me a girlfriend voodoo-magically.
Yes, I got a boost. First, I felt more confident talking to women. And they told me I was confident.
Second, my conserved sexual energy translates into more testosterone = positive aggressiveness = healthy masculinity. Women read it off of me.
Myth #3: Depression doesn’t get worse on NoFap.
Mine actually got worse. And that was good for me.
I needed to really feel it for the clarity that it brought. I realized I had to work on the psychological deficit behind depression.
Myth #4: NoFap is easy.
It was hard work for me. Especially the first two weeks.
Conquering my biology was no easy fit. But you know what’s best ❓It made me feel proud.
I added this memory to my treasure box of fond memories. When I feel low, I recall this memory to cheer myself up. It will sustain me for many years to come.
Myth #5: NoFap means quick success.
This appeals to you if you have cultivated a quick success mentality as Andrew Tate teaches.
Instead, it taught me that I need to work hard to develop practical skills that people will pay me for.
Myth #6: Hard-mode semen retention is the way to go.
Extreme semen retention never made sense to me.
I never did it. I think that our reproductive system will atrophy if we don’t use it. And then cause health issues such as prostatitis.
Not to mention, missing out on intimacy. Sex brings me joy and amazing sustainable pleasure. I don’t want to give it up.
I keep relapsing. How do I sexually reset my brain❓
Here’s how to sexually reset your brain if you find yourself relapsing non-stop.
Karan asked this question on YouTube:
“I really want to leave this disgusting habit behind. I am trapped in a loop. I have been constantly trying to stop this but I have been failing in my attempts constantly. Once I stopped it for around 133 days and I was at my best but after I relapsed I regretted it a lot. I lost many things after the relapse and since then I am trying to stop it but I am not able to. Please help me I want to become a better version of myself and I want to have a good future. Please save me.”
Here’s what you need to do to sexually reset your brain. Karan.
How did you feel at 133 days ❓You felt amazing. Confident. In control of your life. Alive.
Write a list of those benefits on one sheet of paper. On the other one, write the “benefits” of PMO. Next time an urge comes, pull out those two sheets and compare them to remind yourself of how bad PMO is for you.
Learn from the relapse. Remember what triggered you to do a PMO session. And then, demolish that trigger so that it doesn’t happen again.
Was it Instagram ❓Uninstall the app.
Which things did you lose as a result of relapsing
PMO comes with a huge opportunity cost. You’re wasting your precious golden years. You have to claw for every second of your time to develop skills instead of wasting time on online images.
Use opportunity cost as motivation not to do it anymore.
Join my 30-day challenge. It creates a system that pushes you to stop PMO. Every day, I guide you to be the best version of yourself. If you struggled with sexually resetting your brain for years, this is what you need to stop wasting time and inaction.
I want to be PMO-free but how do I fight strong urges ❓
You have a strong urge. And you don’t know how to deal with it. So you relapse.
Let me show you how to deal with urges smartly.
Humans forget about stuff all the time. You feel regret after fapping but you forget about it quickly. All you think about it is your urge to PMO.
That’s why we need constant and smart reminders.
So you need to record two videos. The first one is right after relapsing. Talk to the camera and say, “Pmo is killing me. I don’t want this feeling.”
The second one is after a solid streak of several days or weeks. Talk to the camera and say, “I feel amazing. I want THIS feeling of PMO-free.”
Now, watch these two reminders every time you have a strong urge.
Crush it and stay PMO-free forever.
I watch porn and like it. Why do you say porn is bad ❓
Healing from porn is necessary if you feel adult films are a problem in your life. You need healing when you feel addicted to them as a coping mechanism.
In this sense, healing from porn is like healing from alcohol abuse. Alcohol becomes a problem when you depend on it and can’t say no even if it hurts your long-term goals.
Now someone might have an alcohol addiction but not a porn addiction. And they might wonder why someone would get addicted to porn.
And vice versa, a porn addict who doesn’t care about drinking won’t see why an alcoholic would want to abuse the bottle.
The point is that we are all different and have different genetic setups or emotional triggers which cause us to watch porn or drink.
Despite our differences, we need to support each other in accomplishing our personal goals. That’s how healing from porn happens (or healing from alcohol). Not by telling a porn addict that porn is good for them and they should enjoy it quietly.
Why NoFap at all?
Because real sex is gazillion times better than porn sex. If you go for fake sex on the screen, you’re selling yourself short.
Excessive fapping as a coping mechanism is an unearned dopamine spike. Instead of being motivated by doing real things, you teach yourself that instant gratification is freely available.
Gradually, you become unmotivated to leave your comfort zone and challenge yourself to get real sex. And you miss out on amazing intimate experiences and years when you could develop social skills. You objectify women as sex objects and find it hard to connect to them
That’s why NoFap works. When you stop compulsive fapping, you reclaim your motivation and capacity to connect to women on a deeper level.
That’s when sex feels amazing and goes beyond just the physical experience.
What are some less evident No Fap tips for faster transformation❓
My first No Fap tip: Addiction is like oblivion. You don’t enjoy your life and only look forward to the oblivion of your addiction. When you do the addiction, you disassociate from the pain of your normal life. But it’s not what you are put on this Earth for.
My second No Fap tip: Cooking your own food is one good habit that will help you get your life together. When you do that, you build momentum that also makes NoFap easier.
My third NoFap tip: Get motivated for a NoFap lifestyle by recognizing the untapped potential that you have. If you live for dopamine spikes that come with porn and fapping, you’re missing out on what life is really about it. Get off the dopamine hamster wheel and see how you can get pleasure from living a charged life instead.
Get help with NoFap. You’re not alone in this battle
If you need help going NoFap, check out my coaching services.
I wish I had someone in my teenage years to open my eyes to the benefits of NoFap.
That’d have helped me save tremendous amounts of time and energy.
Today, I want to be that person for you so that you don’t feel my pain.
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