This is a complete guide teaching you how to quit masturbation in 2020.
In this new guide, you’ll learn exactly how to stop this habit, including:
- What happens if I stop masturbating?
- Benefits of quitting masturbation
- Tips to stop masturbating
- Lots more
Let’s get started.
First, let me share the story of my NoFap transformation.
- Companion video
- My NoFap transformation
- Benefit 1: Increase your ability to focus
- Benefit 2: Become more masculine
- Benefit 3: Be genuinely happy
- Benefit 4: Feel more confident
- Benefit 5: Feel pride instead of shame
- Tip 1: Start small
- Tip 2: Replace the PMO habit
- Tip 3: Associate pain with PMO
- Tip 4: Remove triggers
- Tip 5: Don’t rely on porn blockers
- Tip 6: Make yourself accountable
- Tip 7: Associate pain with the process
- Tip 8: Set punishment for yourself
- Tip 9: Keep feeding your mind with uplifting information
- Tip 10: Live each day like it’s Day One
- Tip 11: Stop cheating
- Tip 12: Embrace God
- Tip 13: Rechannel your sexual energy into creativity
- Tip 14: See the opportunity cost
- Tip 15: The one thing more important for quitting porn addiction than anything else
- How to quit masturbation more easily
Check out the companion video if you don’t want to read:
My NoFap transformation
I’ve been doing No PMO for 8+ years now. Before becoming a NoFapper, I would watch porn and regret the time lost on it. But I never saw the big picture: I was wasting not just time but opportunities. One of them was socializing.
I was very shy as a kid. Porn made it worse. When people in my high school and college dated, my sex life was a bunch of pixels and my right hand. And my notion of excitement was using my left one for a change.
For one, I missed 5 years of dating, from 16 to 21. The Golden Years. But I also didn’t develop social skills that could’ve saved my future marriage. Without them, I couldn’t stop my wife from divorcing me.
At that point, I said “Enough.” With my No PMO transformation, I was able to make some major changes to my life, including to Canada from Russia at the age of 36. And probably the best NoFap benefit for me is living a much happier life instead of the hell of guilt and self-hatred.
I share my story in a hope that will inspire others to go on a No PMO journey and then use it as a starting point to become a Hero in their life. If my story motivates at least one person to overcome the urges at least for a day, I’ll feel my job is done.
Now, let’s look at the benefits you get by stopping masturbation.
Benefit 1: Increase your ability to focus
When you quit masturbation, it stops sucking your mental energy like a vacuum cleaner.
You don’t get distracted by thoughts about PMO (Porn, Masturbation, Orgasm).
You don’t suffer from shame and guilt after an episode anymore.
And the next thing you know, you have more mental energy available to you.
As a result, you’re able to think more sharper. You can concentrate on the task at hand more clearly.
Benefit 2: Become more masculine
By quitting masturbation, you save testosterone. And more testosterone equals masculinity.
- Your voice grows deeper and more powerful. More hair grows on your chest.
- If you hit the gym, you also use the testosterone to make your muscles bigger and stronger. (And by exercising, you produce even more testosterone.)
- More testosterone results in releasing feromones that make you more attractive to women.
Check out this study for the numerous benefits of having high testosterone levels for men.
Benefit 3: Be genuinely happy
PMO is like that governor in your car that puts a limit on how fast you can go. It prevents you from feeling happy because there’s always regret in the back of your mind.
But when you quit masturbation, there are no more limits.
You feel happy more often, especially because simple things make you happy again. Like taking a walk or enjoying birds singing. That happens thanks to the upregulation of dopamine receptors.
You become more charming, charismatic, and joyful—which makes you even happier.
Benefit 4: Feel more confident
PMO can make you self-conscious and even paranoid.
One reason is that you have to hide this socially unacceptable behavior from others. As a result, you might develop a feeling that everyone else is watching you.
But when you quit masturbation, you start caring less about others’ perceptions of you.
It doesn’t mean that you become disrespectful, though. You simply stop overthinking the consequences of your actions. You’re out there, sharing your gifts with the world and not caring about how the world reacts to it.
And then you have more courage to pursue things in life that used to scare you. Let’s say you quit your job and pursue your passion as a freelancer.
Benefit 5: Feel pride instead of shame
As you achieve all of these things I mentioned above, you’ll feel pride once again.
And that’s a fantastic feeling that changes everything. Instead of walking around feeling miserable and shameful, you walk with your head up and a big smile on your face.
That said, here are my best tips for quitting masturbation.
Tip 1: Start small
I’ve seen many people trying to quit masturbation by going hard mode for 90 days. And I liked their resolve but I was skeptical.
Such a goal might be unrealistic and overwhelming. And that’s why many people relapse or never even start.
That said, if you feel you can do it, do it by all means. But otherwise, starting with smaller goals makes more sense.
Here’s how it works:
- Start with a small goal (“Don’t run yet but start walking”)
- Accomplish it and reward yourself
- Use the momentum to set a slightly bigger goal
Here’s how you can put it to practice:
- Start with one day of no porn and no masturbation. The next day, you can relapse but make sure to reduce the time you watch porn.
- So you reset the counter. Begin anew but this time, do two days. When you relapse, reduce the time and also the intensity of porn you watch. For example, go from fetish stuff to “regular” porn.
- Then, do three days. When you relapse, at least go from hardcore to softcore porn.
- Next, do four days. When you relapse, go from softcore porn to erotic movies.
The specifics can be different but you get the idea. Taking small steps works better than setting unrealistic goals.
Tip 2: Replace the PMO habit
When you feel an urge, you automatically go to the default behavior associated with it. You watch porn and masturbate.
Your neurological pathway between the urge and the behavior is strong. If you just stop the behavior, your mind will crave it even more than it used to. That’s because our mind doesn’t like to lose things we’ve got used to.
That’s why you need to trick your mind. Don’t drop your default habit (PMO) but replace it with something else.
A good example is eating. Let’s say you want to get leaner with a low-carb diet. You can’t just stop eating carbs, right? You’ve got to replace them with protein and fats. Otherwise, you’ll be hungry all the time.
Likewise, you need to find something to replace PMO with. This could be:
- Reading a few pages from a book
- Watching a motivational video
- Sending a thank you note to a friend or colleague
The key is to do the new habit every time you feel an urge. That’s how you’ll rewire your mind to associate the urge with the new habit.
Tip 3: Associate pain with PMO
PMO is pleasant in it of itself, right?
And then people also make the process even more pleasant. They make it an event, adding things like junk food, smoking pot, or using stimulants.
No wonder their subconscious mind craves PMO so much. They motivate themselves with tons of pleasure.
But if you replace pleasure with pain, you can rewire yourself to dislike PMO.
Here are a few ideas:
- Jerk off without porn
- Masturbate in front of a mirror and look yourself in the eye
- Don’t use a lubricant
- Put yourself in an uncomfortable position
Tip 4: Remove triggers
If you do PMO long enough, your mind starts associating it with the environment around you.
Let’s say you watch porn on your phone for a month. The next thing you know, just grabbing your phone triggers an urge.
Removing these kinds of triggers helps you quit masturbation.
Here are three simple things you can start with:
Replace your phone. Not having money isn’t an excuse. Just sell your phone and buy a used one from eBay or Kijiji.
“I hate watching pron. I will crush my phone to prevent watching it!”
That’s what a follower Ice Wizard shared about his struggles with porn. And it’s not at all. He continues:
“I am 16. I have watched pron for 2.5 years. I managed to stop for half a year.
I feel very happy when I am free from porn, and when I fail, I try better next time.
Sometimes, I do fail multiple times (2-5 days) but then I pull myself together. I don’t want to give up because I do this for god and for myself. 💪
I have an idea that if I take away my smartphone permanently, I’ll become happier and better, and more focused!”
Sounds familiar ❓ That’s because you know how PMO feels — it’s a killer.
I want you to stop PMO from killing your soul. I want you to feel in control of your life. I want you to feel alive and confident.
If you are wondering, “How to quit fapping❓” just like Ice Wizard, removing the phone from your life is a good start.
Likewise, replace your laptop if necessary.
Clean up your place and rearrange the furniture. If you can move to another house, that’s even better.
Tip 5: Don’t rely on porn blockers
I’m not a big fan of porn blockers for browsers.
They might sound like a good idea but in the final analysis, they might do more harm than good.
See, using a blocker is like saying, “I don’t have any self-control so I’ll let an app control me.” In other words, you relieve yourself of the responsibility for quitting masturbation.
And that’s the problem. Changing anything in your life starts with taking responsibility for it—not fleeing from it.
So be more self-relying instead of using porn blockers.
Tip 6: Make yourself accountable
Put social pressure on yourself by letting others know about your intention to quit masturbation.
This pressure keeps you committed because you don’t want those people to feel disappointed in you.
Here are a few suggestions for doing this:
- Start a reboot journal on NoFap.com or Reddit. Keep posting every day and others will make you accountable as well as cheer you up.
- Get a friend or an accountability buddy to discuss your progress. Doing this daily is very helpful.
- Hire a coach who will hold you accountable. Paying to a coach motivates you because you don’t want to waste your investment.
Tip 7: Associate pain with the process
Among other ways to stop masturbating that I use with clients is something that I discovered through sleep
I used to be addicted to sleep
I would go to bed very late and struggle with getting up in the morning
Every time my alarm would go… I would just snooze it and turn to the other side
And then I became conscious of why I was turning
I didn’t feel comfortable lying in the same position all the time
Especially on my back
So this is what I started to do — I would keep lying on my back and feel the discomfort
Which made staying in bed at all appealing
And eventually, I retrained my mind from associating pleasure with sleeping to associating pain with it
I use the same technique with my coaching clients
I teach them to make the PMO process painful rather than pleasant:
- Don’t watch porn
- Masturbate standing up in the bathroom, watching yourself in the eye
- Masturbate in rubber gloves
- Put pepper on your hands
If you are stoic like me, this technique could be very helpful
Tip 8: Set punishment for yourself
Speaking of money, here’s another financial method that works well for quitting masturbation. It’s putting your money at stake.
Let’s see how you can do it:
- Give your friend $200.
- Ask them to give it to charity if you relapse.
- If you relapse, let them know immediately.
- Feel the pain of losing the money.
It’s important that something good comes out of your punishment such as donating.
This method works well because people hate losing money.
Tip 9: Keep feeding your mind with uplifting information
Consuming inspiring content every day strengthens your commitment to quitting masturbation.
You focus on self-improvement rather than regretting the pleasures of PMO.
Here are a few examples:
- Listen to motivational speakers talk about goal setting.
- Watch NoFap videos to remind yourself of why you want to quit masturbation.
- Read books or studies that explain the dangers of porn or the benefits of semen retention such as Your Brain on Porn.
So yeah, keep your mind busy with inspiring content. You’ll distract yourself from PMO urges. And you’ll stay motivated, too.
Tip 10: Live each day like it’s Day One
Focus on resisting your porn or masturbation urges just today.
It’s the only day that matters.
Don’t live with anxiety about the future. Worrying about it doesn’t serve you.
Don’t live in the past. It’s just facts. No regrets.
Give your all today and make it a masterpiece.
Remember that the scoreboard doesn’t matter. When you know you gave it all, you’ll feel good even if you relapse.
Be a hero that lives each day like it’s Day One on NoFap.
Tip 11: Stop cheating
Here’s how to stop fap by becoming more conscious.
As a teenager, I loved porn. And I also loved video games.
Some people use cheat codes in games for a quick win like beating a boss. But I wanted to play the game the right way. I enjoyed the hard work and the feeling of accomplishment that came with winning.
But with porn, I WAS cheating. I was cheating the biological system designed for the procreation of the best species.
The right way to use this biological system is to work on your attraction so that then you can have real sex. But I was hacking this system as people do with video games.
I was avoiding the hard work of making myself attractive. I was getting the benefits instantly.
That’s not a hero’s way. A hero does the hard work and then enjoys the benefits more.
Having this realization is key to understanding how to stop fap.
Tip 12: Embrace God
One source of No Fap motivation comes from faith. I am not a religious person but I know that faith in God helps avoid porn.
You trust in something stronger and bigger than your ego. You can draw immense willpower and No Fap motivation from that eternal source of love and support. In fact, it’s a huge part of 12-step programs like Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA).
Let’s say, you feel the urge to watch porn. At that moment, you can connect to God through prayer and the urge will subside.
Even though I am not religious, I am aware of the power of spirituality. For me, God is universal consciousness. When I have a strong urge, I mediate to shut down my monkey mind and the urge. I also feel connected to other NoFappers and realize I am not alone in this struggle.
The moral aspect of religion is helpful for No Fap motivation, too. Watching porn is a sin in common religions. It’s helpful to think about how God strikes you for doing the wrong thing. You don’t always make the connection, though. As an example, for me, that “striking” came in the form of porn-induced depression.
You are God’s hero 🦸 👍 I believe in you more than you do. Join me 🙂
Tip 13: Rechannel your sexual energy into creativity
My NoFap experience taught me that sexual energy always seeks a creative outlet.
Women get to be creative by giving birth. Men don’t have a similar outlet. They need to find something they are creative in.
If they don’t, they tend to channel that sexual energy into PMO. And that’s why women don’t have a problem with PMO: they already have a creative outlet.
When you do NoFap, you need to understand this dynamic. Find a creative outlet for your sexual energy and you’ll stop using PMO as your outlet.
Now patience is key to this. You need to let yourself feel boredom and not get distracted. If you do that long enough, you’ll want to do something creative instead of PMO. Your creativity will come out and you will feel pleasure and motivation.
But if you distract yourself with PMO, you’ll kill your creativity. And you’ll feel depressed and unmotivated.
These are my examples of becoming creative as a result of my NoFap experience:
- Cooking healthy food.
- Practicing the guitar.
- Coming up with challenges for me and my son that push us both to become better.
- Creating my NoFap experience videos that encourage guys to be version 2.0 of themselves.
There you go. PMO stifles creativity because there’s no mental bandwidth left—all you do is look forward to the next dopamine hit. But if you see your sexual energy as your creativity, you can rechannel it.
One more thing: Take walks. They inspire my creativity and also lift me up.
Tip 14: See the opportunity cost
This guy I know is one of the biggest donors to the adult film industry. The saddest thing is that he has no clue and he’s broke.
Here’s what’s happening. He spends 2 hours a day watching those films. That’s 14 hours per week.
Throw in also another 14 hours of brain-fogged, unfocused, and unmotivated life after PMO sessions.
That is a total of 28 hours a week (at the very least).
Now, this guy doesn’t have a job. He is depressed and desperate, with credit card debt. Sharing a room with another person in a house he hates.
Let’s imagine he would spend those 28 hours working at Walmart. Not the fanciest job, I know. But it’s light years ahead of how he is wasting his life now.
Let’s say his hourly rate at Walmart is $10. That’s 28 hours a week x $10/hr x 4.5 weeks in a month = $1,260/m.
That’s what he’d be making if he just gave up adult films. And that’s a full-time salary for 90% of the world’s population by the way.
He has been addicted for at least ten years. (That’s what he tells himself but it’s probably even more.)
That’s $1,280 x 12 months x 10 years =$153,600.
That’s a down payment he could’ve made for his own home instead of sharing a house with strangers.
The point is that he’s unknowingly signed a $153,600 cheque to the adult film industry.
So the next time you think of watching p6*n, remember that you’re donating at least $153,600 to the filthy industry. While also making yourself miserable just like this guy.
Tip 15: The one thing more important for quitting porn addiction than anything else
To really quit porn addiction, ask yourself these two questions:
The first question is “What kind of technique can I use to quit my porn addiction ❔”
I get asked this question often because people understandably want a quick solution. Some even want a magic cure 🙂
When I was quitting porn, using techniques helped me a lot. I used a replacement habit and punishment.
With that, I was able to go to 30 clean days. And I felt so motivated and energized that I made a promise to myself: no more PMO. I felt alive and wanted to feel like this all the time.
But that was a surface-level change. The pain that drove me to PMO was still there. It was loneliness and depression because I didn’t like my life.
That’s where the second question came in. And it’s way more important for quitting porn addiction.
I asked myself, “How do I get my life together now so that I will never go back to porn ❔”
I was doing porn and masturbation because I didn’t like who I became. I am a guy who wants always to do the right thing. But my life was terrible at the moment.
I used PMO as a coping mechanism. And then I hated myself even more because that was another bad choice.
So I started getting my life together in the hope I would stop betraying my identity.
I learned social skills and got a girlfriend.
I got in better shape because I hit the gym hard.
I hired more employees for my business so that it could work without me.
I started spending more time with my little son and loving it.
I mustered the courage to move from Russia to Canada at the age of 36.
That was an identity-level change. I started to love my life. And porn addiction became irrelevant.
Which one idea helped you quit masturbation the most?
Here’s a perspective that really motivated me for NoFap. Let me share my NoFap Before and After to explain it.
I was an instinct-driven animal. I felt horny. I wanted a release. Period.
What was the path of least resistance? Some porn and my hand.
I realized I behaved like an instinct-driven animal. I didn’t want to be one.
I decided that I would sacrifice short-term pleasure for my long-term goals.
And heck, most animals don’t even jerk off. Why should I?
And they definitely don’t watch porn. Hmm, fox porn? Mmm, no.
Any other practical tips that help you through NoFap?
When it comes to NoFap Motivation, one thing that helps me a lot is thinking about my son. He is 12 and close to the age when I began struggling with porn.
I imagine him struggling with it as well. It feels great to watch it for him but it also feels wrong.
There is a better part of him telling him that he’s wasting his life on fapping.
In my imagination, he reaches out to me for motivation. He tells me I’ve been his hero and he wants me to be a hero one more time.
He tells me not to watch porn or masturbate. Because he wants to be like me, he won’t either.
This dialogue keeps me inspired to stay masturbation-free. If you don’t have a son, just imagine your unborn son (could be even more powerful!).
Is No Fap good ❓
8 years ago, I used to wonder “Is no fap good ❓” I decided to give it a shot. After all, what was there to lose? In fact, I was losing a lot already by fapping: my time, energy, and motivation.
I did NoFap in moderation. No porn, no masturbation, ejaculation from real sex once a week.
When I got to a 30-day streak, I noticed an interesting transformation in myself. I used to feel bored and unmotivated. But I started to feel excited about living my life.
- Vision: All my senses heightened with NoFap. I used to ignore the beauty of nature. But now I opened my eyes to it.
- Hearing: I would go down the street without paying attention to any sounds. But with NoFap, I could notice even small sounds. And I enjoyed them.
- Taste: I used to have a sweet tooth. Regular food tasted boring. I actually hated eating at times because I was rarely hungry. But with NoFap, sweet stuff started to taste too much for me. Soon I went to an almost zero-sugar keto diet.
- Touch: I used to feel numb to my woman touching me. But with NoFap, every touch I get from my girlfriend is now electric.
- Smell: I couldn’t care less about perfume. But now I love smelling different perfumes on myself and other people.
What’s the reason ❓I believe that I overstimulated my receptors with PMO. I had too much pleasure from fapping and my receptors got lazy. With NoFap, I woke them up.
This transformation alone is enough answer to “Is no fap good ❓” for me. NoFap in moderation has been healthy for my body.
Should I do NoFap❓
I asked myself, “Should I do NoFap❓” At that point, I didn’t even know what it was. But I knew that PMO was destroying my life. And that was enough motivation for me.
It was especially bad for my dating life. I would jerk off and feel unmotivated to approach women. I knew that if I stayed on this path, I’d always be single—married to my right hand (or sometimes the left one—just for variety 🤣).
So I did NoFap. It wasn’t easy and at times, I felt I wouldn’t be able to quit. But I did and I have been porn-free for 8 years.
I am an ordinary guy and I believe you can do it, too. There’s still time for you to start. The best time was five years ago. The second best time is today.
Are you asking yourself, “Should I do NoFap ❓” as I did? Stop this mental masturbation. Instead, make a personal growth experiment—a 30-day NoFap challenge. Every day, push yourself to quit PMO and claim back your life. Do a month of NoFap and see for yourself.
Is it okay to have fetishes ❓
I watched porn for 17 years and developed a few fetishes. Whenever I had a PMO session, I would look for these specific things in videos.
I also wanted to act those fetishes out with my partner. Thankfully, she refused to do it.
You can destroy your fetishes now if you quit porn. Otherwise, they will only get stronger with time and drag you into a downward spiral.
How to quit masturbation more easily
Does the idea of quitting porn motivate you?
Do you want to be free from regret?
Do you want to be more confident instead of anxious?
Then check out my “Free NoFap Tutorial: 5 Proven Tips to Transform Yourself Now.” This is a free video with practical tips that will make NoFap easier.
Heal your brain from pornography in one month
Get my Free Porn Detox Course now. Make your porn brain rewire easier.
9 thoughts on “How to Quit Masturbation in 2023 – 14 Actionable Tips Plus Benefits”
It s tough plz mail me a program online with people fighting this addiction recovered from drugs and alcohol 3 years 12 steps program this is harder 37 y since I was 14 choked to porn
I appreciate your being open about this challenge.
A good start will be to watch my free NoFap Tutorial here: https://romanmironov.com/contact-nofap-subscribe/
Let me know how it goes!
USUALLY MY AGE IS17 AND I STARETD THE JOURNEY OF NO FAP I RESTRICTED MY SELF TOWARDS THESE BUT IN INTERVAL OF DAYS I USE TO RELAPSE
HOW CAN I OVERCOME THISPROBLEM
Did you use any of the techniques in this article?
Don’t worry. Try to avoid non veg and liquor as it increases the urges. Focus on developing new good and positive habits that can replace the gratification. Whenever you feel lusty chant this mantra five times “Hare Krishna Hare Krishna , Krishna Krishna Hare Hare.
Hare ram Hare Ram , Ram Ram Hare Hare.” Loudly. And don’t forget to pray each and every day to any God you believe in to give to strength.
All the best sis
Very true! If you are a religious person, prayer makes you stronger in this battle.
I can have quotes
you changed my mind like you waking me up,from now on am going to follow your advice and am sure I will quit, thanks alot
Thank you for your praise! And more importantly, thank you for going on this journey to being a hero ❗ You are an inspiration to all of us NoFappers👍