Wondering how to make him obsess over you?
You’re going to be surprised at how easy it is.
First, you need to ask what he wants specifically.
Second, do those things for him regularly.
Today, I’ll show you how to meet his needs step-by-step.
Companion audio
This article is also available as a podcast episode:
How my girlfriend made me obsess over her for a long time.
To illustrate, let me tell you about what was probably the best present of my life.
About 15 years ago, I asked my girlfriend to buy music for me.
(Her name is Kate and she later became my wife.)
Back then, people used to buy pirated music from each other because they couldn’t afford to download it online.
A buyer would choose music from a seller’s catalog and get it by mail as MP3s burnt onto CDs.
I realize now this was illegal and feel sorry about it.
Anyway, at that point, I hadn’t listened to new music for almost two years.
So I asked Kate to get new music for me as a present.
And then she figured what my favorite bands were, found the sellers, and ordered the latest records.
When she gave me those CDs as a present, I was elated.
Even though I expected this present, I loved it so much because I’m such a big fan of music.
I had been looking forward to listening to new records for so long!
And I was obsessed with her because every time I listened to them I felt pleasure.
And I associated that pleasure with her.
What is the main problem in relationships?
People are concerned with their own needs—how their partner meets them.
It’s me, me, me.
They don’t think about how they are meeting their partner’s needs.
This is where you have so much untapped potential for making a man obsess over you.
If you meet his needs as no other woman did before, he’ll be madly in love with you.
Make it your job to know what your man wants.
The easiest way is to ask as Kate did with me.
And this is what makes this approach easy.
You don’t need to guess or be creative—just ask.
You might think that if it’s not a surprise, it doesn’t feel as great.
But it does!
And you still have a lot of room for surprising him.
First, you can be creative about meeting his needs.
If he says he loves getting a massage, give it to him when he least expects it, use oils and new techniques.
Second, you can still observe him for things that he might want and not be aware of.
And then surprise him based on your observations.
Here’s a smart way to make him obsess over you.
There is a useful framework to help you meet your partner’s needs.
It’s the “6 human needs” system created by Tony Robbins.
All human beings constantly seek to meet these needs.
In my example, Kate helped me meet these 4 needs:
- Certainty, or comfort: I felt certain because she gave me the new records from the bands that I already loved. And I felt pleasure which equals comfort.
- Variety: I felt newness because I hadn’t listened to new music for so long.
- Significance: I appreciated the work that I knew went into this present. This is what makes presents great after all.
- Love: She put a lot of love into getting that present for me.
These four needs are essential to human survival.
The remaining two needs are essential to human fulfillment.
They are:
- Growth.
- Contribution.
I don’t think she helped me meet them with this present.
Now what’s important is making sure you meet several needs at a high level for him.
Imagine a scale of 1 to 1o where 1 is not meeting a need at all.
- If you meet your partner’s needs at levels 1 to 3, you are roommates.
- At levels 4 to 6, you are friends.
- At levels 7 to 10, he gets addicted to you for life.
You’ll also get your needs met
Your reward is that you’ll inspire your man to meet your needs.
Doing this indirectly is the best way to approach it.
You get interested in his needs first.
You fulfill those needs, making him obsess over you.
And then he feels you’re meeting his needs and wants to do the same for you.
One actionable tip to make a man obsess over you
Here’s what you can start with:
- Ask how you are meeting each of the 6 human needs on a scale from 1 to 10.
- Ask what you can do to help him meet each need at a higher level.
- And then start implementing his suggestions one at a time.
How to make him obsess over you with coaching
If you need help making a guy obsess over you, check out my relationship salvation services.
You’ll learn how to make your man happy with unconditional love.
And he’ll respond in kind.
That’s how you’ll build a legendary relationship.
Contact me today for a free introductory session.