A coaching client came to me with this question: “How do I make my wife happy?”.
He loves his wife but she’s not head over heels in love with him.
For example, she’s fine having sex once a month instead of every other day as they used to.
The husband tries hard to regain her love but she doesn’t respond.
He feels unfulfilled and unhappy as a result.
Here are my best tips for making him and his wife happy.
Check out the companion video if you don’t want to read:
Tip 1: Become an equal in the relationship.
First, if you’re focused on “regaining her love,” it sounds as if you’re chasing her.
She takes you for granted then and her attraction goes down.
You need to stop chasing your woman.
Strike a healthier balance.
Ideally, she should be chasing you 80% of the time because women prefer chasing themselves.
Even though they won’t admit it.
That said, how do you restore this balance?
As with any changes you want to see in the world, start with yourself.
Create a more balanced life.
Add hobbies, friends, new skills, or spending more time with kids.
By doing so, you’ll enjoy your life more instead of getting hung up on your woman.
And when you feel happy, you become more attractive to her.
Tip 2: Make communication a priority.
Women need more communication than men realize.
They don’t use it just for problem-solving like men often do.
Women enjoy the process itself and bonding that comes with it.
That said, talk more to your wife to open her up.
Listen without interrupting and ask thoughtful questions.
It’ll help you bond, making her happy (and you).
Tip 3: Be more present.
Your wife is very sensitive to your level of presence in the relationship.
Men often think, “Oh, here goes another meaningless story” and tune out.
But women sense that immediately and hate it.
Being 100% present with her instead is a powerful way to show you appreciate her.
Especially when your wife tests your strength.
For example, she’ll say something that you don’t like.
And you go, “Bring it on, baby. I love you and will always be here for you.”
And look deeply into her eyes.
That will make her happy instantly.
Tip 4: Meet her needs better.
According to Tony Robbins, we all have 6 human needs:
You need to help your wife fulfill these needs at a high level.
For example, you need to fulfill her need for love at least at a level 7 out of 10.
Discuss the 6 human needs to understand how to make her happy:
- Ask her how you meet each need on a scale from 1 to 10 where 10 is the highest level.
- Ask her what you can do to increase that level.
- Tell her about your needs—ideally, after she asks you.
That’s how you end up with a specific action plan to make your wife happy.
And it’s easy to measure your progress because you know the baseline.
Tip 5: Make her remember happy moments.
We all have great memories from the first months of our relationships.
This is when we felt great because of “love chemicals.”
You can make your wife happy by reminding her of those memories:
- Recollect them in as much detail as possible, engaging all her five senses.
- This will trigger the state she had back then, making her feel more love in the present.
Remember those moments randomly and often.
And you can also celebrate some of them “officially:”
- The day you met
- The first date
- The day of your engagement
- The day of your marriage
Tip 6: Be more masculine for sexual polarity.
Masculine qualities make your wife more attracted to you.
Here are a few suggestions for how to be more masculine:
- Stay calm and centered in any situation, especially when she tests you.
- Be playful: don’t take her or yourself too seriously.
- Don’t compromise your principles or integrity.
Such qualities draw your woman to you naturally and make her happy.
Tip 7: Remember about your emotional bank account.
Keep making deposits to your emotional bank account with your wife.
It’s a metaphor from The 7 Habits of Highly-Effective People.
Your “bank account” with your wife is how much she trusts you.
Whatever you do concerning her is either a deposit to, or a withdrawal from, that account.
Examples of deposits
- Don’t talk behind her back.
- Honor your promises.
- Be consistent with your principles.
Examples of withdrawals
- Being impatient with her, yelling.
- Trying to mold her into what you want.
The more deposits you make, the happier your wife feels.
How to make your wife happy with coaching
If you need help making your wife happy, check out my relationship coaching services.
Your intimate relationship should be the greatest source of fulfillment in your life. Period.
But you might feel it only causes pain right now.
And you want to change the situation but making changes is difficult and uncomfortable.
Let me guide to help you fix your relationship as quickly and easily as possible.