Dating is time-consuming.
Suppose, you’re dating a confident and successful guy.
But he’s in a bad mood all the time.
You put up with it, thinking that you’ll change him.
Until finally, you get fed up and break up with him.
And then you regret the time lost.
Here’s how you can stop wasting your time right now.
Companion video
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Tip 1: Build a solid foundation with values
Let’s say you meet a guy and he seems great.
But then you realize he’s dishonest.
That’s a clear sign the guy is wasting your time.
Dishonesty isn’t a good place to start.
What do you need for an amazing relationship?
A solid foundation.
But how do you build it exactly?
You need to know your values and make sure they match those of your romantic partner.
To understand your values, ask yourself questions like these:
- What kind of a family do I want?
- How important is communication to me?
- How much integrity and self-discipline do I expect from a partner?
- How much negativity can I tolerate?
Now, you need a guy with similar values.
With that, it’s time for the second tip.
Tip 2: Don’t idealize him
Let me use Robin Williams as an example.
He married his first wife, Valerie, at 26.
Soon, Valerie realized he couldn’t be faithful to her.
But she idealized him:
He’s the great Robin Williams and I can live with his infidelity, I guess.
But that was her head making the choice.
Whereas in her heart, she knew she was betraying herself.
And they got a divorce eventually.
That said, you might meet a great guy.
He’s confident, successful, and funny.
But there’s still something you don’t like about him.
Don’t idealize him for those good qualities to avoid time-consuming dating.
Listen not just to your head but also to your heart.
With that said, let’s go to the third tip.
Tip 3: Don’t change him
Suppose, a guy you’re dating says he can’t commit to a relationship right now.
But he’s great otherwise.
And you think, “I can change him. I’ll make him commit.”
They say that people don’t change.
I believe they do but only as long as they want it.
Just because you want him to change doesn’t mean that he will.
That said, I respect you for the willingness to help him change.
Feeling your support is very important for a man.
It helps him build a business or career and also grow personally.
But why waste your energy on someone who doesn’t care?
Save it for the right person!
Now, here’s the fourth tip.
Tip 4: Don’t go along because you want to be nice
Let me illustrate with an example of a girl who had a suppressive father.
He would get angry often.
And she learned to be nice to him in those moments.
Otherwise, he wouldn’t have loved her—a scary thought for a little girl.
Now in her early thirties, she met a guy who was strong, confident, and aggressive.
This guy would get angry with her just as her father did.
And without much thinking, she was nice to him in those moments as well.
That was her default behavior learned in childhood.
But after a while, her resentment got so huge that she couldn’t take it anymore.
And she broke up with him.
But with dating being so time-consuming, she lost so much time.
So, don’t be nice when it feels wrong.
Ask yourself:
- Am I being unreasonably nice to my partner?
- Can I stop going along with what I don’t like?
- How do I be more assertive about what I need?
- How can I set my boundaries and keep them up?
And now it’s time for our final tip.
Tip 5: Let him know and let him go
If you don’t like something about a guy you’re dating, you’ve got to let him know.
And if he doesn’t want to change, let him go.
Let’s say he doesn’t want to commit to a relationship.
Sit down with him and talk about it.
Use this formula from How to Have a Good Day by Caroline Webb:
- Warmth
- Explanation
- Offering an alternative
- Ending with warmth
Here’s what you can say:
Warmth
Thank you for being a great boyfriend.
I love how gentle and loving you are.
I want our relationship to work.
Explanation
I need you to commit to the relationship.
If you can do it, I’ll be the happiest girl ever.
Offering an alternative
If you feel you can’t, I’ll respect that.
It’ll break my heart but it’ll be the right thing to do.
Ending with warmth
Thank you for coming into my life.
I adore you.
How you’ll feel
As a result, you’ll feel better.
And you’ll also feel inner peace.
You did what’s right and now you can trust the universe to figure out what’s best for you.
If he’s right for you, he’ll come back.
Tip 6: Make him chase you a little bit
You may want to test his masculinity by letting him contact you first after you met.
It’s also a good idea to let him initiate a few first dates.
By letting him chase you a little bit, you’ll see how secure he is and how much he likes you.
If he doesn’t initiate contact, that could be a sign that he’s not too interested.
That means you might be wasting your time with him.
That said, make sure that you also start reciprocating slowly to his initiating contact.
Now, I want to turn it over to you
Which of these tips will you use to stop wasting time?
- Is it building a solid foundation with values?
- Or not hoping that he’ll change?
Let me know by leaving a comment below right now.
Dating is time-consuming but here’s how you can fix it
Do you need to stop wasting your time dating men who aren’t a good match for you?
Do you ignore those red flags while dating a guy?
Do you give chance to men who don’t belong in your life?
Then you’re wasting time and ultimately your life.
I don’t want that to be you.
I want you to stop wasting your time with the wrong guys.
I want you to focus on growth instead so that you can manifest the person who is truly best for you.
Speak to me today for a free relationship breakthrough session and experience more success in dating.