I help my coaching clients with anger management in Toronto so that they can live a happier life.
I bet anger costs you a lot.
It sure cost me dearly.
It’s your relationships that take the biggest hit.
Today, I’ll share some of my best anger management tools.
By using them, you’ll be calmer and enjoy relationships with others more.
Why is anger management important?
Anger comes at a cost: physical, emotional, financial, and spiritual.
An NLP expert Wayne Farrell said:
Anger can have serious negative effects on our health. Heart attacks, strokes, and even cancer can be caused by anger. Not to mention what it can do to relationships or your career.
Tip 1: Help others with anger management to understand your own anger.
Whenever we get angry it’s usually caused by something that doesn’t fit our model of the world.
For example, a colleague fails to follow a procedure that we suggested at work.
Deep inside we feel insignificant and fearful.
And we develop anger to stop feeling this way.
Anger makes other people pay attention to us, which makes us feel significant again.
So here’s my first tip for anger management.
Give soothing love to angry people so that they feel significant and calm down.
While you do so, observe their behavior to understand what causes anger to rise and subside in them.
It’ll help you understand and manage your own anger better.
Tip 2: Manage your anger with an anchor.
Whenever you feel anger rising, you can stop it early by using an anchor.
An anchor is an action or an object that you associate with a particular state of mind.
With anger, you need an anchor associated with a peaceful state of mind.
Let me illustrate.
I was looking for an apartment to rent recently. (My mother and my son were coming to visit me in Toronto and I needed a bigger place.)
I arranged to meet an agent to view one apartment.
I sent him my requirements by email.
And he confirmed them.
But when we met, it turned out the apartment was just for two people.
I wasted my time coming to view it and I was angry with myself for that.
I expected him to review my requirements carefully, forgetting that people tend to miss information in emails.
Instead, I should’ve confirmed my requirements over the phone with him.
When I felt anger rising in me, I used three anchors:
- Breathing deeply. I have a neuro-association between a calm state and breathing deeply. Taking deep breaths brought me back into this state.
- Fixing my slouching posture. This is a similar neuro-association: when I straightened up, I went into a more resourceful state.
- Thinking of the sounds that I meditate to such as a waterfall. Using this third neuro-association, I felt calm as if I were meditating.
Tip 3: Join an anger management group or take a workshop in Toronto.
A different strategy to get better at anger management is to prevent anger altogether through inner work.
A life coach Lisa A. Romano said:
We must learn to navigate the emotional realm and manage our anger so we can evolve more consciously and with less chaos in our lives along the way.
One way to do so is by taking anger management classes regularly.
For example, I recommend a one-day Toronto Anger Management workshop by the Salvation Army.
It’s practical and affordable.
Or join a group like Anger Management Counselling Group offered by the John Howard Society of Toronto.
By talking to others about your anger, you’ll get an outside perspective on your problem and get motivated to change.
Tip 4: Practice acceptance so that anger is out of the question.
Here’s how you can take anger management to a whole new level with inner work.
It boils down to training yourself to accept things and people as they are.
Remember the main reason for getting angry?
It’s when people or things don’t fit your model of the world.
Acceptance is becoming okay with that.
This practice consists of two consecutive steps:
- You begin with eliminating judgments from your life.
- After you rewire yourself to be non-judgmental, you start seeing the beauty in everything and everyone.
In that state, you want to share your love for them and anger is alien to who you are.
Tip 5: Coaching option for anger management in Toronto
As a life coach, my job is to help you enjoy a fulfilling, anger-free life.
Contact me today for a coaching session online or in-person in Toronto to resolve your anger management issues.
This tiny bit of action—hitting me up—can have a profound effect on your life.